Cross country DB with WAS

[Anders]

Advice on EA: W has had two EAs that I am aware of in the last two years.

However, there is a third that has been ongoing since before we met. Today, this is really stirring in my mind. And doubts about whether or not I am burying my head in the sand about the reality of our situation. I need some outside perspective.

Before we met, W had a strong emotional connection with a married man. OM's wife found out and OM said they could only be friends. W was devastated for a long time. It was about a year after this that we met.

They stayed in touch on and off with W reassuring me that she no longer had any attraction for him. That they were just friends. However, I read a message from OM telling W that he had opened a FB account for the sole purpose of following her life. His W did not know. He did not leave any comments or posts but followed up by phone to catch up.

When W moved away for work a couple of years ago, she sent him a probing note to find out if he was available. He said they could be friends but he could not tell W, nor her tell me. The communication moved to phone after that.

Just before my WAH phase, I told her in MC that based on the way she treated me, I felt like I was only there in the M as a placeholder and to pay the bills. She would spend a lot of time on her computer, staying up late in the night to work. I knew there was more to this but at the time made the mistake not to push her on this.

Right now I am really regretting this.

Should I tell OM's W about this?