Why is it good for d16 to be with me also - what benefit does it bring her? Sure, I can take her on some trips, and help with math and scientific school stuff, but is there something beyond that?
Do you know nothing beyond trips and something academic? She needs a relationship with her father. Not a tour guide, not a school teacher, but a dad.
You go in cycles, Luke. You have been around this mountain how many times? I alone spent quite a bit of time telling you what a teenage girl needs, but not once did you record doing anything I mentioned. B/c it required you giving of yourself...and that felt awkward! I told you several times if you would just go by her room to tell her goodnight and ask about her day, you would be building something between you other than planning another trip.
Do you want to know why your D and her mother are close? B/c they TALK!!! They SHARE!!! Your W gives her TIME and one on one ATTENTION!!!
You seem more concerned or jealous that D will be seeing your W more than you. You want to buy her something to make brownie points? It doesn't work. She wants the one thing you've never given her.
Do not accept that girls are naturally closer to their mothers. That is nothing more than an excuse you are giving yourself! A lot of girls and their mothers clash.....especially during teen years. Kids need both parents throughout their lives.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
