Hi MM, Last weekend I went to my in-laws family party with my W and kids. I was able to do this because I had ZERO expectations from my W AND I knew I would be able to go and contain any negative emotions that came up. I spent VERY little time with my W and spent most of the time interacting with other people there. It wasn't easy. It was a long drive to and from where I was in the car talking with her and the kids. I had to just let anything she said that could be hurtful if I had taken it a certain way go and ignore it. I had to be happy and upbeat even when she purposely said things that were digs. I had to endure the tour of HER new home (first time I was there for any length of time) listening to her go on about her excitement. It wasn't easy but I'm glad I went.
Can you do those things? Can you let any negative comment he makes just go? Can you (honestly) have ZERO expectations of him? Can you not get into "R" talks or get upset if he makes a comment about some other person (RE agent anyone?)? Can you not seem "grumpy" but actually seem happy with your life without him in it? Can you be around your "drug of choice" without taking a step backwards in your progress?
You need to honestly feel you are able to do these things before agreeing to go with him. You have to be able to hide any negative emotions that may come, ignore out of the blue comments or questions about your R from his family/friends or know how you will react and answer them. Can you do this? Only you know the answer, MM. But make sure you are honest with YOURSELF before you agree!
