Thanks Rayzzz and oad. It is scary how similar WAW/LBS situations seem to be.
I can see every comment you both made from your wives' perspectives being said (or thought) by me.
Originally Posted By: rayzzz
So far we have only heard your side of the story...and not alot of things about what you need to change to fix this sinking boat. SO what are your shortcomings that have hurt him and made your H not feel like he was valued...cause maybe this may have encouraged him to listen more
I think before I try to figure out my shortcomings that may have hurt him and made him feel not valued I need to figure out my shortcomings that held me back from being happy without figuring him into the equation. I don't know that I have the energy (or motivation) to work on R right now. I need to figure out me first, without walking away or doing anything destructive to our R. And see how that fits. I think I have let his needs/wants be foremost for so long that I need to work on getting my needs/wants in a kind way, if that makes sense? And not trying to anticipate his feelings if I do this or that. Just do what I want.
Oddly enough he says he felt insecure because of my independence, but I think I lost alot of my independence over the years in trying to please him (or at least have as peaceful a home as I could manage). I'm tired of putting my wants to the side out of deference to him. It felt as if I gave, gave, gave, but never was given any, you know? If we can survive in an environment where I matter too, maybe we can do this. That's how I feel today anyway.
