1 step forward, 1000 steps back

[mdu]

Well, H did not react well to my blowing up. He, of course, started getting annoyed and defensive. I did call back a little while ago and said that was I sorry for getting angry, that I know it doesn't help anything, that I just was so thrown by this and don't know what to do or believe. And obviously I don't trust him right now. He said 'I know'. His tone was kind. Then I said 'Do you have anything else to say right now?' and he said 'No' and so we said goodbye and hung up.

I'm honestly not sure how he's handling this news or what he's thinking. I think he's trying to figure that out for himself. He said that he just found out yesterday and is trying to process it himself.

Part of why I freaked out is because I had NO CLUE that this was even remotely within the realm of possibility! I asked him so many times if they had some sort of plan given that she lived 2 hours away and he said no. But apparently the truth is there was some discussion about her moving closer and coming to work at his office. He did claim the move was to be closer to her sister but I can't imagine that their relationship wasn't a factor at all in the discussion. And it seems very fishy that she is following through with this with NO thoughts of getting H back? It makes me think that at a minimum there's been some contact that has given her some hope to go through with this move.

Now I'm fully expecting that she is going to not only show up in his office but be 6 months pregnant to boot.

I feel as lost as I've ever been in this whole process. I had to leave work, I am home crying all morning. I am just so blindsided.. AGAIN!