Dave36, everything I have read from your postings could have been written by me. I think that we are on the same road except that I am 10 years further along it. With every beat of my heart I can feel love chemicals rushing round my body. I bet you're the same. That love is focused on only one woman and the feelings are as strong as they were at the start. I bet that's the same for you. At first my wife was loving and I could tell I was the most important thing in her life but after a while the "I love you's" changed to a sort of squeeking noise and loving looks, hugs and squeezes dried up. She always seemed to be worrying about something. Money, job, relatives. Her attitude to my sexual advances were along the lines of "how can you possibly think about sex when we havn't paid the phone bill". Always the optimist I assumed that soon I would get back the sexy woman I fell in love with but one worry seemed to lead straight into another and the years went by. Is that similar to you? For the last few years I have tried to initiate sex once a month when she is in mid cycle. The only day she will consider is Sunday and I usually prepare by talking to her a lot, making some but not too much physical contact, doing housework, helping with the children etc. Then at bedtime she has a bath and I have one after (wouldn't it be wonderful to have one together!). I get into bed with her and gently approach with perhaps a little shoulder massage and BAM she stiffens up and gives me the cold shoulder. No amount of loving touch or pillow talk makes any difference and I end up lying awake for hours torn up inside and composing letters to agony aunts in my head. Does this sound familiar? This forum and the SSM book is my final attempt to win back the love I feel I deserve. I am going to do everything I can to make it happen but if does not - I've tried hobbies and evening classes and they are no substitute for love - I hope I have the strength to walk away and find someone like sarahsmiles. Sarah if you are reading this you have boosted me up. It's great to know that there are passionate women in the world.
