Hi everyone, I have just bought SSM and have read most of it this morning. As I am reading it I'm saying to myself "Hey! That's just like me" to just about
every sentence and example. I then found this website and at last I've found people that (sadly) are going through the same and who know how
desperate and lonely it feels. My story is similar to all of yours and it goes like this. I met my wife when we were 20 and students. We got together every weekend and our love life was fantastic. I fell madly in love with her and she
with me. We made love every time we were in bed together. After we left university we had some time living apart (with parents) and she came off
the pill because it caused her to retain fluids and in any case we were not able to get together so much. We set our wedding day, bought our first
house and looked forward to the future. However, by the time we were married our sex life had evaporated in the mist of wedding planning, house
buying and job seeking but never mind I reasoned, as soon as we are married our love life will get back to how it was. Well it will, won't it?
Married bliss started with what I look back on as probably the worst disappointment of my life. After a lovely wedding day we are at last alone in
our honeymoon bed and naturally I expected things to get playful but to my amazement she started having a go at me for not bringing new pyjamas.
Instead of consummating our marriage after the best day of our lives we ended up having a row. I lay there rejected thinking "What have I done". I
am optimistic though and I fully expected when things settled down we'd get back to how we were. The trouble is 25 years have gone by and although
I still love her as much as ever and tell her so every day, our sex life has never returned. I'd say we average 4 times per year except when we
were trying for babies when it was a little more. What sex we have is after days of treading-on-eggshells preparation and is then a one way
process of her allowing me to love her but giving absolutely nothing in return. The tragedy is that I can tell she has the most beautiful orgasms
and I just can't believe she is not totally addicted. We have tried counselling but she just would not open up the counsellor. She described it as
the worst experience of her life. I have bought books which she dismisses as psychobabble. I am hoping she will read SSM but even if she does the
chance of it making any difference I put at 2%. I look forward to your comments and advice. David
