I don't consider myself clueless at all. In fact, I feel I am guite the animal when it comes to sex and it just gets better as the years go. Unfortuantely, that is not the problem in our marriage. Toys, books, videos, etc. are all good things to have around the bedroom if your wives need a little push. Myself, I can't imagine not having sex. I don't have it every night, but when I do I make up for the nights I missed and it's usually not a "Wham, Bam, Thank you Mam" kinda sex either. Are you men making it worth her time? I mean if you are pleasing her, and she needs to please you too, then I can't imagine why she wouldn't want it. I feel for you!
