1 step forward, 1000 steps back

[mdu]

I totally suck, I must ask that everyone please do not reprimand me. I realize that I have totally screwed up and am beating myself up like crazy already, sick to my stomach. I don't need more beating. I ended up totally freaking out on him. I just can't believe that she is moving closer to us and going to be in his office multiple times per week. I can't see how we can possibly get over this. I have no idea what to do next. I am having a hard time imagining that she is coming here and he hasn't somehow been giving her hope that something is going to work out between them. She is coming NEXT week. What do I do? Please help!