....More Backgroud
We have a very nice, cooperative, peaceful relationship...probably too conflict averse but that's another thing (though it contributes). We're both 35 and I think I'm assessing the direction of my life. We have a 5 yr old daughter which decreased our frequency but it was getting fairly low beforehand. I actually remember looking forward to trying to get pregnant because it would mean more sex but it turned out that the she got pregnant the first time.
Anyway, she is not taking any medications and she gets quite aroused when we actually get together amd she's also fairly open minded and not repressed. She just never wants to be physical.
Since I first brought the issue up as a "big issue" last month, she has been making an effort to be more affectionate and I have acknowledged it. She told me last night that she doesn't want to analyze things like I'm doing and is averse to therapy or following any particular set of excercises presented by a third party. I talked about this with her last night. I told her that I simply wanted her to desire me more...she responded "pick up after yourself and don't irritate me...that's all it will take."...hmm ok...I asked "what irritates you?" her: "talking about the same thing over and over". Cool. as harsh as the response was, it was at least a constructive response. She asked what she could do beyond being more affectionate and while my real desire is for her to have a stronger libido and want be a little more lusty. She simply asked me to write a list of what my expectations and desires are. It's like giving your parents a specific Christmas list with product Ids versus simply saying you like sports stuff....you fear that what you are getting is coerced and not as meaningful as a surprise. But I guess at this point it is better to set my expectations. I think her goal will be to "fake it 'til she makes it".
My goal for myself now is to pick up after myself and shut up.
