1 step forward, 1000 steps back

[mdu]

H just texted that he needs to discuss something with me. We are going to talk after he drops off the kids at camp in about an hour. We'll talk over the phone, which is good so I have a way to quickly get away if I start getting too upset.

I strongly suspect he is going to share that he and OW have been in contact. I honestly don't know what else it could be and just have a gut feel. I know I shouldn't assume but feel I need to brace myself for that. As much as that will suck, I do realize on the bright if he is forthcoming that's a big positive step for him --- he's talking to me about something really tough and he's abiding by the transparency plan (at least the parts we've discussed thus far). I know it's a big moment for me to show that I can handle this and not freak, so here's my plan:

*remain CALM, get off the phone at the first signs of feeling too much emotion or any anger. Say "I need to process things so would like a break, I'll let you know when I can talk again"
*know getting off the phone is an option but try to muscle through and show him that you can handle this. I don't want to let her threaten me and get me upset.
*thank him for being honest and forthcoming.
*force myself to ask specifics - usually I get too anxious and avoid, I think I'd be better off knowing it all, whatever it is, rather than hiding from it.
*resist badmouthing her. Just let him judge for himself what kind of person she is for continuing to pursue a married man with small kids (assuming that is what's happening).
*know that whatever happens I can deal. I can get off the phone and calm down. I can go to work and talk with one of my colleagues who has been really helpful. I will have the kids tonight and can focus on doing fun things with them. I can get through this.
*no matter what, as long as I remain CALM, I WIN!!!!