Wife wants marriage with OM, is there any hope?

[25yearsmlc]

The phrase "father figure" was really jarring to me. I'm very curious why you (or your W) would use that term.

Sorry you are in this situation. You will find great advice (but also hard questions to ask yourself) here.

Because she and I both know that I'm an amazing father, and she also knows that even if she ultimate leaves me, that won't change.

Well, WNY would it ever change? You are their dad, right? So why would you stop being a good father if she leaves you --to punish her? (??)

And btw< I think your excuse that you must not have been in love with her or you would not have cheated so much, is a lie you are now telling yourself -- b /c you are finally confronting the fact that she is doing something so wrong -

but which you have done to her a number of times.

So if she's a lousy person for doing it to you, then YOU must be a lousy fellow for having done it to her so often...

OR maybe you just were not in love....

Come on, man up & own your stuff and work on it - or stay stuck in victimhood.

I'm sorry but for me, that ^^ seems like the silliest thing I've read in a long time. I know you are in deep pain, but you must confront the fact that you inflicted this exact same pain on her, more than once

and now you are citing HER FATHER as the moral authority who "thinks it's wrong" (does he know about your cheating adventures?)

and you simply keep glossing over your own sins -that is not helping anything. It just seems very hypocritical & convenient for you to come up with your new theory.

The idea that 'minimal effort" was made to fix the underlying problems causing the cheating, seems not to have sunk in that it was YOUR effort to make, not hers. Ever wonder if it's merely a character flaw in you? You may want to put it at the top of your list of things to change in YOU.

What is it you really want from her, b/c I don't think it's actually a restored marriage. Is it?