Read the books. That would be a good start.

Can you tell us more about your M issues and what else might have been going on, including your role? Be honest with yourself. We can't help you if you sugarcoat things. The more detailed you can get, the better.

M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER