She says she's conflicted (part 2)

[25yearsmlc]

"My issue is I get verbally agressive instead of staying calm.
Then I get on her too. This is where I need coaching..on keeping my mouth shut."

So what are you doing to get that fixed? I don't see that you've gone to counseling for yourself to get your control issues under control.

Actually my IC and The MC have started working on this with me.


Keep at it-- b/c it's a big thing for you, and no doubt it's something your w worries about you reverting to... Do not gloss over this trait b/c it's a big problem for you and it is something your w has clearly noticed.

What I don't understand right now is that my WAW runs not and cold with me constantly lately.

I can not figure out my next move when it comes to her actions.



That^^ is b/c you are reacting to her or what you think she will do. This DB process is about You doing what is best for YOU to do, to become your best self. NOT to "get her back" or to anticipate HER next move but to proactively change your life.

There is a difference between you doing your personal work b/c you want to become the best man you can become, and strategizing your next "move" to get her back...that's just tactical, not true inner change.

Do you get what I'm saying?


For example last night she pushes me away from cuddling with her and starts an argument ( I did not respond) then this morning she's all cuddled.

Before I left for work we had a discussion...she asked what I would do if she decided that OM was her man...not me...after she tells me that she still has questions about her relationship with OM.

why are you having these ^^ types of discussions? They are hypothetical AND all R talk and that is a bad combination. Detach. No expectations. Seriously, those get you in trouble.

I feel like I am being manipulated...that she does not want to let me go, but can't see a future with out OM.