My H's MLC #2

[Ssarah]

An update on my sitch... so yesterday the 3 months of complete disrespect coupled with the new things I learned made me completely lose my mind. I have to say all DBing went out the window and I went crazy. I regret so much losing my cool and giving H and OW the satisfaction they've been waiting and hoping for.. can't do anything about it now.

Here's what happened. Lately H has been growing more distant, leaving earlier and coming home later. Usually on the weekends he would hang out with the kids until 3pm or so before he went galavanting. This weekend, the weekend of his birthday, he really cut things short. On Saturday he left after 1pm and Sunday, on his birthday, he got up, "played" with our daughter for a few minutes and then showered, packed a bag and left at 11:30am. He couldn't even have lunch with his kids to celebrate with them. My daughter is at the age where she loves birthdays, loves to sing and have cake, but God forbid he didn't run to OW first thing in the morning and spend the day with her instead. So that day, against DBing rules, I snooped. I went on opentable, a website we use to make dinner reservations, to see if he had dinner plans for his birthday. What I saw instead was a 6:30pm reservation for 2 on 4/10 to a very expensive restaurant, 2 days after we got back from our adult only vacation to the Bahamas. So I checked my phone to see what if anythign was said that day. He had sent me a text saying he had a networking event that night that he had to go to. Then another text at 1:26am to turn the house alarm off that he's pulling up. So he had a nice little 7 hour date with OW 2 days after coming back from vacation with me. All of this time I discounted their relationship as nothing more than sexual and maybe a shoulder for him to lean on. I thought he was stictly hanging out in her apartment, not flaunting it and running around town with her. Now I see they were much more serious and out in the open. BD was 4/21. I was certain that up until that point it was purely an EA. Boy was I wrong.

Then, Sunday night he comes back at 2am and I hear him playing clips on his phone of what sounded like a concert. One of our favorite artists is on tour in our area and we always go see him together. This time I went with my cousin and offered to get him tickets for fathers day from the kids. He said not to that he may go with his one friend and they're going to get close up seats. Well I check stubhub and see $900 floor seats for July 5th in Philadelphia (we live in NYC). I couldn't believe it.

So Monday morning I get a text from my gf asking me how I'm holding up. I tell her I've had to 2 blows this weekend and tell her what they were.. how he was wining and dining her way before BD and how he bought her floor seats and took her on a road trip.. to which my gf responds I know I saw the video. I freaked. She said check instagram. I do and there it was 2 videos from the concert shot 3 feet from the artist. He was pretend sleeping next to me and I lost it. I turned and said "you bought $900 floor seats for OW and your flaunting it on instagram?! When are you moving out." And he ignored me. So I asked again. I kept asking until he responded. Then I said you're moving out today. And thats when everything just came out. How I'm done with the disrespect, with him coming and going as he pleases while I raise the kids, do his laundry and keep the house. That I don't want to look at his face anymore.. how I was trying to save a marriage with the person I married and not this lying sneaky scumbag. It got so heated and out of hand. 3 months of pent up frustration just oozed out of me. Despite me telling him that I will throw his things out if he won't move, I don't think he's doing anything about it still. He came back this morning to shower and get ready for work, and left with nothing again.. as if he will come back.

I'm wondering now if my days of DBing are up? If there's no turning back from this? I feel like the things that were said Monday morning, after being so good through all this, set me back to somewhere that is unrepairable. I hate that I let him make me be the bad one. I am so spent, emotionally and physically. Between taking care of my 1 and 3 year old (who both have had the stomach virus for days), work and maintaining the household physically and financially, I am just utterly drained. I seriously feel like packing up myself and my kids and just living under a rock. I'm really starting to crack under the pressure of it all.