confrontation methods?

[pbetra]

After reading your posts, I can't help but feel that you are trying to control what he likes or doesn't like to do.
A.I'm sorry you feel that way - (am walking away)
Control? The only thing I am trying to control is:
- NOT ending this marriage prematurely (recent feeling)
- growing anger toward him
- GAL which will also protect me from not feeling so used.
maybe a medium/electronic like this in a additon does not always translate well ...

Just because you want him to experience the "real world" doesn't mean that he has to feel that way.
A: but he DOES feel that way!! Made CLEAR when the bomb was dropped -
"live my life because it didn't turn out as planned ... & on & on. wanted to experience what was out there" & made it clear he would do so WITHOUT me, unlike initial plans (all the fun plans that were made just before the bomb! I was 'pencilled out'). I was practically encouraged to have a affair - & I KNEW WHY. 2 hours of wants, desire to "travel, meet people, live my life" ... all during the raging anger at the infancy of the bomb's explosion - to its final end. Asked him at the end of the 'turmoil' if he needed to end relationship - he never answered. After a few months of 'night life-ing', he eventually ran out of his $$. That's all. Really quite simple Mr. Bond.
Wonka was right - the kitten has to GO (at some point) - he has to get it out of his system.

btw - H always said he didn't want a controlling W like his mother. He got me, an introvert & daughter of a controlling man.
My goals during his MLC are to get over my own fears, work on my self esteem. If I feel used and need the space to GAL, while he figures out whatever HE NEEDS TO, then so be it. I have given much with nothing to show. My community didn't like him for me ... but I was young, fearful, uncertain (STUPID!!) & liked his sense of adventure because I had none! For the first time in my life, I intend to be asssertive for me. That is one GREAT POSITIVE from this LBS experience.
He was insecure about the amount of attn. I got during the M - even nervous. I promised him (during a vacation when the men were hitting on me if he left even briefly) that I never would never betray him. For 15 years of M, I stuck to my word in spite of more attractive options (men w/ more money, job/education, REAL class/decency - did I mention I was STUPID? Won't be in future). I NEVER cheated just as I promised him. What a joke!! Look at me today - a tired, over middle aged, anxious all the time, nervous wreck. Used.

I have deleted the remainder of this post as that information is irrelevant re: confrontation or boundaries. will post
remainder /'other' later at mlc rut (http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...846#Post2460846).
I feel suddenly saddened.

Thank you though for taking the time to respond Mr. bond - it is appreciated, really.