I love Tolkien!!! Read all of his books. I have the DVD collection of the trilogy movies.
Here I am starting to notice a pattern. When you are anxious, you tend to want to push the transparency plan on H. Hmmmm...am I warm here? If yes, I'd suggest that you hold off on the plan for the time being.
As in DBing, I stress that context and timing are important aspects of piecing as well. Bug, Bond, Starsky, 25, and others who have successfully reconciled would probably agree with me here.
Right now, the pair of you are in a fragile state and I do not think foisting the transparency plan on H now would be a good idea. You have made great strides with H. You might not like the pace...however, you are in PIECING. Sure, it is slow going and it should be that way if there's anything to be learned from your previous mistake in taking back H too quickly.
This isn't The Notebook, but real life. It will ebb and flow. There will be times it can be downright mundane and other times will be passionate, fun, and exciting.
It's your anxieties and fear of the unknown that's tripping you up. Take a stock of positive baby steps that have been happening over the past 2 to 3 weeks. That was a BIG change from a month ago.
For now, I'd suggest to table the transparency plan for now. Trust us here...we will be able to tell when it's time to pull it out.
