confrontation methods?

[pbetra]

Pbetra,
Allow me to post a great summary from ForeverYoung on the differences between a simple WAS and a MLCer:

With a WAS: We are trying different things and seeing what "works".
With a MLC: Nothing we do is going to work until our spouse has made it through the tunnel.

That summarizes very nicely the action we take here when it comes to the MLCer...get the hell out of the runaway train that is coming bearing down right at ya! [/i]
I agree w/ you Wonka - its the 'how' relative to my sitch, that I am working on

Honey, confronting the MLCer is an exercise in futility.
I realize this hence >>> What I found out:
> the solution isn't as involved as I assumed re actionable steps to take! b/cause ... there are not any specific solutions!! there are no identifible boundary-making solutions with so much irrational thinking and behaviour.

They need to explore outside in the field like a kitten and will come home as a mature cat. That applies to kitty kitten MLCers not those with awful Jekyll/Hyde MLCers who are truly lost waaaaay out there like Bea's.

Agree!! I think he needs to do this for himself- express his 'call to the street', his curiousity, or he will ALWAYS be miserable.

You write:
> How does LBS confront MLCer to COMMUNICATE much needed boundaries?
For what reason are you looking here? What boundaries are you talking about here? Please be specific so you can get the proper assistance here.

there must be equivalent behaviours & methods for LBS to act on, when confronting someone who has emotionally separated the LBS, all while the LBS is trying (!!) to execute those very boundaries.

A: Wonka, you will note that 'WAS' followed > My concern (was):
> How does LBS confront MLCer to COMMUNICATE much needed boundaries? Past tense.

I wrote a summary because I realized that the initial post didn't make sense. There is NO rational in all the chaos. I explained my reasoning when I first began thread, as I would be continuing my journalling experience where my initial 'bomb history' was first recorded.

Yep. It's called detachment. You cannot control what the MLCer does or doesn't do. Detach from H and the sitch.
A: You have me here Wonka, you've wonked me! Although detachING - still not detachED! So guilty!

Thanks for taking the time to reply - your post offered reassurance. Also, great meeting "a former badass MLCer". MLCers are such celebrities around here! They hold the key to so much precious, sought after information ...
Thx again, e-meet you another time on the forums. p