One giant leap forward! - Part 10

[T1000]

Thanks F!

We are seeing each other tonight to talk.

I think you are right that journeling might help. I had forgotten how much you can help yourself just by writing it out. Hell I feel like I fix half of my own problems internally just after I have written it on here.

Some of my thoughts in the last 24 hours...

Faithfulness:
What is worse, a partner you've known a year that kisses someone else or a spouse of 8 years kissing someone else?
They are both bad but the spouse seems worse to me, thats not to downplay the other way round but it's more of a betrayal in my eyes. It's not as simple as I've just wrote out, it's definitely not black and white.

Speed:
Bug is correct, slow down. I don't think introducing GF to the kids was wrong but a lot of other things have been going to fast. The same when I met W.
Because I have my own place it's easy for GF to stay here. Spend nearly every evening together, stop over for half of the week. We don't go out much becuase I'm still skint.
It's like the "dating" aspect of the R was done and gone within weeks and we settled down into chilling at mine and living like a married couple.
It causes me to take my eye off the R ball and just drift through the R aspect way too early. It's not good, it's not healthy and time and time again it doesn't work. It tumbles too fast.
I'm not saying you should ever take your eye off the R ball but at the same time where an R is at 7 months isn't where an R is at 2 years, it feels like we are at that two year mark.
Even in my head I have been thinking what next, what next rather than just being in the moment.
Slow down, slow down, slow down!!!

My life:
It's dawned on me quite harshly how I have let the speed of this thing take over my life or lack of. Before I met GF I would do my own thing and spend time with friends. I have been putting time and contact with her over time with anyone else (bar the kids). I've found myself in that lonely I have nothing besides her feeling.

Conclusion:
I'm gonna hear her out. She might want back in or she might just want to clear the air and leave. I will then decide how I feel.
No matter how the above works out whether we stay together or whether we don't I need to keep a life for me.
Again no matter how it works out any future R's will have to be limited in speed even if I have to use a bloody calendar.