Funeral for a husband, love lies bleeding

[cczamo]

Amazingly enough, on Sunday, ex H texted then called me. I answered his 2nd call attempt.

He merely wanted to know if he could drop his 2 dogs off in afternoon Sunday so he could attend party and leave them overnight through Monday. I immediately thought that he wants to go see OW overnight (she used to live out of town, but I'm not snooping to confirm if still out of town, or if they're even still in R). I said of course, any time, bring them over! I miss my puppies!!! He was upbeat thanking me for being "so accommodating."

He went on to share news regarding some people I'd known in his company that had been laid off recently. I voiced sadness for them, yet kept my end of conversation impersonal, yet as warm as possible.

Occasionally, ex will share things with me, just like in the old days, things that perhaps he thinks only I can relate to... I also have some of those moments, where I really want to share something that I've heard or read that I know he'd appreciate. It just kills me, and I have really, really struggled with each time it's happened, but I have not shared the thought, news or whatever meaningful moment. I held it inside, bit my tongue, distracted myself, did not hit "send" button, and the strong urge eventually dissipates. This has been one very difficult lasting link to let go of, leaving me feeling sadness of our lost connection most acutely.
That, and the sex...I miss that most acutely, too!