Wife says I do not fulfill her emotionally

[PeterV2]

Hi And. I've read your thread.
This is what I see. WAW in an A - not sure if EA or PA. She is spewing constantly at you. She is trying every technique to make you out as the bad guy so she can justify her leaving, and justify her actions.

Don't buy into it. Don't believe a word she says. She's in a total fog.

You cannot reason with her. In Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman it states: "The emotional mind takes its beliefs to be absolutely true and so discounts any evidence to the contrary. That is why it is so hard to reason with someone who is emotionally upset: no matter the soundness of your argument from a logical point of view, it carries no weight if it is out of keeping with the emotional conviction of the moment. Feelings are self-justifying, with a set of perceptions and 'proofs' all their own"

So therefore, I repeat, do not believe anything she says. She will spew all sorts of stuff. You need to put on a really thick spew jacket, smile, tell her "that must be hard" and walk away.

Be happy, content, calm. Be a loving father (for the kids' sake).

She will probably escalate the spewing before she hits a wall. Hold your ground.

Oh, and you need to detach. It's very hard to do but absolutely necessary for your own survival in the next while. For that I recommend the following:

http://www.livestrong.com/article/14712-developing-detachment/

Copy this article, paste it into your word processor and edit it to be in the first person and with the name of your W where required. Delete any irrelevant phrases. Make this your detachment mantra. That helped me a great deal, although it's still a daily challenge.

Don't move out. I may even suggest going to bed in the matrimonial bed before she goes to bed. If she tells you to get out then just roll over and go to sleep. Take back your life. You're not doing anything wrong. If she doesn't like it she is the one who will make the decision to sleep in the other bedroom.