My confusing story

[Atsbaby]

So I've screwed up, already again. H had been ignoring me and I was doing well detaching, at least I felt I was. I was following the 37 rules: if you initiate conversation, don't , let him. So H returned from out of town last night, I was working on homework and acknowledged him after he acknowledged me. I remained quiet and focused on him when he talked with me and validated him with what little stories he told me. After an hour and half with the kids, he left to his "friends house."

This morning I had a salesman come by and offered great deal on a vacuum (I've always wanted one of these), so I got it without talking to H. We still share everything, except for 1 credit card each. I put it on my card and figured I'd tell him when the time was right. Plus I'm using my financial aid to help pay for it.
He found it tonight and wanted to talk. He was more than ticked, so I apologized and told him. He said it was fine. I told him I wanted to call him, but he just ignores me and won't talk with me. H brought up that last night when he came home, I ignored him! What?? I said I acknowledged you when you said hi.

What am I doing wrong? I know he isn't himself always, but his clarity has really improved. Maybe he isn't going through MLC, maybe he is just WAH. I'm halfway through the DB and can't really figure out how to implement some of the techniques with him gone. I don't know what really went wrong or what I need to change...his response was: your like your dad and don't finish anything. What's that mean or imply? He also said I'm always trying to fix things...this means I'm always trying to fix him.

I saw a link on someone else's post regarding codependency and I believe that is what has happened to me. I used to be so strong and independent. Now I'm not. Good lord what do I do? I feel things are ok, but I don't want to guess what is going thru his crazy thoughts. He hasn't filed for divorce yet and hasn't locked down a place to live, but I may be pushing him that way now.