Hiya! I am Wonka and am a former badass MLCer. Sorry to find you struggling mightily here.
Allow me to post a great summary from ForeverYoung on the differences between a simple WAS and a MLCer:
Originally Posted By: ForeverYoung
With a WAS: We are trying different things and seeing what "works".
With a MLC: Nothing we do is going to work until our spouse has made it through the tunnel.
That summarizes very nicely the action we take here when it comes to the MLCer...get the hell out of the runaway train that is coming bearing down right at ya!
Honey, confronting the MLCer is an exercise in futility. They need to explore outside in the field like a kitten and will come home as a mature cat. That applies to kitty kitten MLCers not those with awful Jekyll/Hyde MLCers who are truly lost waaaaay out there like Bea's.
Pbetra, your frustrations are compelling you to seek out the magic bullet against your MLCer. Sweetie, work on yourself and detaching from your H. That is the only WAY OUT you make it here.
You write:
> How does LBS confront MLCer to COMMUNICATE much needed boundaries?
For what reason are you looking here? What boundaries are you talking about here? Please be specific so you can get the proper assistance here.
there must be equivalent behaviours & methods for LBS to act on, when confronting someone who has emotionally separated the LBS, all while the LBS is trying (!!) to execute those very boundaries.
Yep. It's called detachment. You cannot control what the MLCer does or doesn't do. Detach from H and the sitch.
