The actual separation has been going on for about a month. I know the things that I did wrong that have hurt her was to discount her feelings on the things going on in our life. She works full time and I left my job when we had our third child. She is a women in a house surrounded by five different versions of me. The kids are very active in sports and I think she feels that I pushed her aside for them. I have cut back on the kids activities so we can spend more time as a family together . I have asked her if she wanted to spend time alone with the kids and at first she said that she wanted to have the kids on some days and for me to have them some days. She has never done this but has asked me to go out with them. One of the reasons she said she needed to move was she need here on place that she could keep clean the way she wanted and peaceful surroundings. As far as the lies as I said I looked through her phone and read her messages. I have never done this before because I trusted her but this behavior came out of nowhere so I thought it maybe someone else. She has friends at her job who she confides in and she has been omitting me from what she does on her off days, things that she does with the kids ie. she lied about going to a pool party with them, and her status for moving her things out. She still has most of her things here. The thing is she talks about doing things I the house like decorticating and painting. One of the things that suffered was our communication skills we just stopped talking and trying to understand each other. So I told her that I would be as honest as possible with her. The problem is that the only things I can get from her are ok and I understand. I have no clue what she is thinking, I asked her yesterday was I making her happy and she said she didn't understand the question and then changed the subject. When she is at home we now spend more time together then when she was here full time. I told her that I wanted to build a new better relationship with her and to find out who she is now. I got ok and I understand and I don't want to date you or anybody right now. She said that she would be open to us trying to be friends again like we use to be because she is my best friend. So we go out, I take her to places we have never been to before an she smiles and laughs and we have fun. I have also been working on touching her again which is hard because she does not like contact. I would be really hurt bug it's the same with the kids. So I treat her like a lady and place my hand on her back and steal touches on her arms and legs.for the most part it's fine until she realizes that she is being touched. So to sum it up since she left the house stays in immaculate condition. I try to include her in as many decisions as I can. I don't tell her every second that I love her but I do tell her once a day and she responds that she loves me too. Robert I think it's working but I have no clue, it's an uphill battle but I can't give up on her or our family.
