Heather: Very sorry to hear about your story. My upbringing was completely different. My parents love each other and are still together. I was raised with a lot of love & attention. However, I never did learn to fill my own self up with love (this much is true). He is my addiction, a hard one to let go... but, I am learning that he is not healthy for me & MUST let go.
Matt: I am not dismissing, I am listening. I know that for the past month, I was letting go for ME... not him. And not for a reaction. I truly was surprised to see his pursuit & posted because of that. Based on what all gets said on my thread, I NEVER expected his pursuit AT ALL (and I was ok with that because I was moving on for me !!)... When he pursued, it would have been easy for me to pick back up the rope, I may have touched it, but I refused to pick it up....because of me. Yes, I need to stop worrying about EVERY action from him... i do. Its just that these last few days he has made efforts that I posted. For example today, he made us coffee from home & brought in my coffee mugs from home too. He is attempting to bait...I see it. I won't be hooked anymore just to be released again ...so, I am being careful. When you state that I MUST stop any and all interaction with him... I HAVE!! I am not convinced that he is capable of making a real effort towards me, therefore I WILL continue to release myself from his pant leg & continue forward. As Gabby keeps pointing out..what if he never comes back? At some point I need to stand on my own & be able to be truly happy again. I am working on THIS.
I am clearly focused on more than just him.... I AM clearing out my inventory... in the last 7 days, I have sold 14 vehicles!!!! THIS IS AWESOME!. This will keep us BUSY!!! It requires a lot of driving here & there, phone calls, paperwork, pick up parts, errands, etc.... by selling, I have just added to his stress level & that flows down hill to me.
My goal is to sell sell sell like crazy... REDUCE inventory. Downsize to a normal/reasonable size. We got too big, too fast & don't have the location to accommodate.
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An hour ago, he was finally able to present 2 offers to the crack addict landlord!! This does affect me as well.
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
