Just had a reality check with the W yesterday. While my relationship with the sons isn't the best after the BD. I have been trying to build the relationship up, by showing and being a better Dad to the boys. I still feel I am an outsider to them. Anyway, last night my oldest S21, told me his fiance (engaged for the last 9 months) has quit her job, deferred her last year at Uni and called off the January wedding. All I could do was offer empathy, a place for him to stay and whatever support he needed. What hurt was the W knew about this 2 weeks ago. Not even a text to let me know he was in pain, hurting and had this happen to him. I would think a situation like this would at least warrant a text to let me know. I can only imagine that I wouldn't be told anything if any of the sons went to hospital or were hurt. So the reality check is that I am not going to be treated as a co-dependant parent with her, but left out of the equation. I had been in regular contact with my son over the time he had the fiance walk out. So he decided for whatever reason (sadness, scared, worried, embarrassed) not to talk to me as well. I know this is all baby steps work. I know I have to work hard at my relationship with my sons, to have them feel a lot more secure in talking to me about their personal life. It just hurt to hear your flesh and blood has been hurt and you find out after everyone else has.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
