My apologies for starting this thread (as mentioned before) - I will return to my initial post, 'mlc rut', from today, as that is my primary 'journal entry'. I realize now that I should never have started here - & am sorry about the 'double posting' or confusion.
To reiterate, my reasoning was simple: have all information pertaining to this SPECIFIC theme contained in ONE place & not buried within the pages of a growing post. This was due to my confusion (& growing DESPERATION !!! re: 'confrontation' w/ MLCer. Also, my (ignorant) assumption that there were specific steps to be taken, when MLCer has to be confronted - during the many 'delicate stages' of their unfortunate experience.
The (common) Issue: > MLCer doesn't listen to LBS as you know (has zoned them out) > MLCer views LBS as enemy - doesn't trust, is rewriting history, doesn't like us > LBS advised to give MLCer 'space' > LBS to be patient (w/me - no longer have frequent sex - what little connection was left through sex is diminhing fast, as all other MLC symptoms & ailments continue 2 persist)
What we have to work with: The LBS issues above + reality of MLC, 'our working material', below: > misplaced anger & blame > lacks rational, > unstable condition, many unknowns > is in flux, 'erractic, chaotic chemistry/brain' ...
My concern was: > How does LBS confront MLCer to COMMUNICATE much needed boundaries? (given the working material while dealing w/the issues) My ignorance & assumption re possible approaches: > there MUST BE something 'special' (!!) for confronting MLCer re boundaries, > there MUST be equivalent methods for this, the way that there are solutions like > going dark, > PMA > holding back / patience > PMA, > 180 > LRT ... there must be equivalent behaviours & methods for LBS to act on, when confronting someone who has emotionally separated the LBS, all while the LBS is trying (!!) to execute those very boundaries. Exactly how many eggs to walk on ... or NOT? Or continue walking on ALL eggs while implementing strategy A, C but not F or W?
What I found out: > the solution isn't as involved as I assumed re actionable steps to take! b/cause ... > there are not any specific solutions!! there are no identifible boundary-making solutions with so much irrational thinking and behaviour. > Each sitch is unique to each LBS anyway Continue w/ GAL
Should I find any other related threads or techniques that work without scaring MLCer more, I will make reference to them See u at mlc rut in not too distant future (if u visit) p.
--------------- update since writing - matt165 gave me an idea of how to deal w/sitch today, in 'Struggling with Boundaries'
pbetra ---- M: 15 yrs (in 2014) BD: 6/03/2014 Infidelity ('known' from July 2014) Denied PA Feb 2015 2 leave Mar 2015 (left early Summer). Some contact. Back briefly 2017 (after family death) Separated 2017
re: 'confrontation' w/ MLCer. Also, my (ignorant) assumption that there were 
