Hi nero, The "just being honest" thing rings so true! My W told me that the reason that she bombed me ("I want a D and I don't want to even try", ILYBINILWY, etc.) was because I asked her what was wrong as she was being so cold. She actually said "I wouldn't have said anything but you asked and I HAD to be honest"! What a load of crap! So, her "honesty" lead to "I NEVER loved you, not even the day we got married", I never "really' loved you, I can't "trust" you" (but can't tell me why or about what), the list goes on. How can they really believe that the lies they tell themselves are somehow being "honest"? How about being "honest" with themselves about all the hurt and pain they are causing so many because of their selfishness?
You can do this nero. You question your abilities too much at times as I see a really good, capable person in you! Try to remember that the person who is bringing you down is someone who can have more than one OW after 40 years with you. That he has no values if he can do that and think there is ANY justification for it! You are a good and valuable person, nero. You can be happy and deserve to be!
