I realize that if anything in my life was truly rewritten I might not be where I am at the moment. While I could do without the pain there are thung I would not have wanted to live without namely my s and ss19 and ss15.
So are you saying that you regret marrying him or just the outcome of the last few years?
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I have been working alone and with therapist to forgive and let go of the past. That includes forgiving myself for a lot. I am becoming happy and confidant again.
From what I've seen so far, I would agree with that, in all aspects. The reason you feel in a no-man's land is just because you haven't figured out the picture yet. Don't worry, it will come.
Is it helpful to let go of the past (life-raft) so you can jump to the future (raft)? Of course. If it was easy, wouldn't everyone do it though?
For me, I found that breaking things into smaller chunks helped. So for example, if I needed to work on a particular thing to let go of or forgive, whether of my ex or myself or anyone, then I focused no that one thing. If I felt like I never put down roots for example, I would have to sit with that, and only that one item until I could resolve it and let it float away. Then to the next item I didn't forgive myself for or otherwise regretted. Pick one and only one at a time. Start with smaller and "easier" items that are piled on. Deal with each for as long as it takes. But once done, be done with it. Then take the next one down and so on...
<shrug> That worked for me. Your mileage may vary of course, but it is one approach.
HTH, AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
