She says she's conflicted (part 2)

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I thought part if the DB strategy was not to throw her out or move out of the home.

I don't recall it being in the book, but maybe it is. As I remember, it was advice given on the board which has been passed down over time.

I was a WAW in an A, so speaking from that perspective, I would have more respect for my H to either leave or tell me to leave.....rather than hanging around to watch it rubbed in his face. IMO, it is demeaning for a man to take that defeated, pitiful stance of waiting & watching and listening to her discuss the details of her A.......while hoping this will be the day she chooses him. And for two more yrs?

Even if the A ends, would she be attracted to her LBH? She won't if she doesn't respect him as a man. Unlike other crises in life where a woman needs assurance and security of her H's love and all that's included as being his spouse, in an open A, you have to deal with it differently. A WW does not appreciate the long suffering H who tries to show her how forgiving, patient, loving, willing, and/or faithful he is to her. She doesn't care! The only things that really gets her attention are the consequences for her actions, her H not being available to her, her inability to affect his indifference, and him GAL & being happy without her.

I think your MC's advice conflicts with what you get here. Seems it would be less confusing if you discontinued the MC. You could always get a DB coach, if you needed extra counseling.

Thanks Sandi

My issue is I get verbally agressive instead of staying calm.
My WAW and me set some boundarys for her visits with OM.
The thing is it turned into me attacking OM and her having him here at all.

This is my one issue. I know the OM attacked her and has been yelling at her etc.

It is pushing her away from him.

Then I get on her too. This is where I need coaching..on keeping my mouth shut.