imo, you are mourning the relationship and you are working towards closure. You have many emotions hitting at once and it is exhausting. At least, that was my experience and I see this in you.. It takes time and perseverance. Don' t be afraid to get help when needed. don' t be hard on yourself. You are doing great and you will make it. It hurts and it is very difficult but we all get through it and then look back with admiration for making it this far... smile Even today, I am sure you could say those words with knowledge that it will only get better... Isn' t easier then bd?? Haven' t you made progress already? Keep at it Nero and we are here for you !! xoxox:)