One giant leap forward! - Part 10

[T1000]

Hello!

It's been a long time since I was here. Over 3 months. A lot has happened and in another way not much has happened.

I've been thinking about posting on here recently on and off. Tbh I've never committed enough time to one side to just do it. I think I'm here today as I'm going through another tough time in a similar fashion.

My girlfriend and I have been together since the end of November. I could see she was falling for me February time. In March I couldn't hold it in any longer and I told her that I loved her and she was over the moon and said the same, we have been in love ever since and she tends to stay at mine 3 times a week.

She is great with my little boys and they love her to bits. I've had a tough time with W that has been a tough ride for GF.

I've had my bouts of retroactive jealousy and some bouts of plain old insecurity. Some of it share with her and some I don't. I read a book last month about retroactive jealousy and it helped a lot.

She went out to a concert with her female friend on Friday and then went to a few bars before getting home early morning. The concert was great and she had a good night.

After I got back last night after dropping the kids off she said she had to tell me something. She said she kissed a guy. I asked what happened. Apparently he cornered her as she came out the toilets. She told him no but he pesisted. He tried again and she said no. Third time he tried it she kissed him for a few seconds.
I was gutted!!!

I asked why, she said she didn't know. Then she said she thinks it was the attention.
It was like sledgehammer to my head. I'm doing the same stuff I did in my marriage!
Is it just me and my personality? Do I just get so lazy that I stop giving the attention a woman needs?

I flew off the handle, I said some harsh things out of anger.

It seems that I care and look after them. I'm told I'm good in the bedroom but I don't make them feel wanted.

The wierd thing is (and threw this at her last night), she had just ranted on Facebook last week about people cheating (a few of her friends have been recently cheated on) and that she has been so against it for as long as I've known her.

She said she was digusted with herself.

I told her I would take her home but she said her friend was coming for her.

I asked if she wanted us to be over and she replied with "How can we come back from this?" I didn't reply I was too angry.

I appreciate her being honest. As hard as it is I feel like I am responsible for a good amount of it. I do NOT condone it in anyway but how many times is lightening gonna strike before I really look in the mirror. It's been a mixture of me not showing the affection she needs and stress from my relationship with W. It's definitely taken it's toll on her. She nearly left 2 weeks ago after W got nasty. She got very upset and didn't think she could handle it all. She brought this up again last night.

She text me late last night "I'm really sorry for hurting you like that xx"

Today I sent "I'm still in shock. Do you want us to finish?"


In regards W and I it has been up and down (quite bloody far down). She wants 6 times the equity in the house! The divorce in rolling on and we are currently getting on.
I'm learning to not fight her. If she changes my days with boys i roll with it the best I can. Otherwise we end up battling and egtting nowhere. I don't have any power until custody is sorted out after the divorce is finalized.

Last week someone asked me how I was doing and I said:
"Not too bad actually. The sun's out, loving the new car. GF is great and I have the kids this weekend. W and I currently have a truce too."

I was in a good place even though GF wasn't.

I would love some words of wisdom on this one peeps. Seems like this where I come when I'm stuck.