Trying to find my way

[pilot]

Or a completely different angle. Consider the possibility he is dreading the goodbye for the very reasons you are afraid yourself...crying, uncomfortable physical contact. Say goodbye to him before his cab gets there and be gone when he leaves. This way you control your goodbye in your fashion, and you leave him wondering wtf just happened. He probably expects a certain action in regards to your goodbyes (since you said you cry a lot). This way you say goodbye and the impression you give him is almost one of indifference.

When my W and I unloaded my stuff at my dad's, and the kids were inside with my dad, my W was then going to leave to drive up to her parents house and our S was going to begin. It COULD have been a very emotional time. This was going to be the first time since we had met we would be spending more than a week apart. She looked sad, and started to walk towards me as if she might want to hug before she left (no definite proof, just suspicion). I just said 'ok, bye' and walked inside, leaving her to get herself in the car and leave. This was a 180 and definitely NOT what she probably was expecting given the emotional train wreck I had been (all the wrong WAS moves I had been doing).

As I said, just a thought...