Trying to find my way

[Meghan]

H. leaves for his vacation Tuesday morning. I'd love some thoughts about what I should or shouldn't do when he goes, if anyone has advice. I'll try to be specific about questions.

I'm going to try my best not to cry, but I don't know that I can make any guarantees. When we were dating, I'd cry every time one of use left the other. This feels worse. Tips for not crying are welcome.

I know I shouldn't say anything to him about hoping that he decides to save our relationship. I think I'm just going to tell him that I hope that he has a great time and leave it at that.

Do I walk him out to the cab, or stay in the apartment? I'd probably normally walk him out, but I suspect that might increase the chances of me crying.

We haven't hugged or kissed in four months. Should I go for a brief hug or kiss, or do I let him take the lead? I want him to remember that he cares for me and what we've shared, but am concerned that hugging or kissing would annoy him just as he leaves since he's said he doesn't want things like that from me right now.

Do I ask him to let me know when he gets there, or just let him get in touch with me when he's ready? He won't have cell service until he gets a new card for his phone.

Should I ask him to give my love to his family, or just leave it be for now?

Any suggestions about what would be good or not would be hugely appreciated. I'm not sure what to expect and I feel like going in with at least a bit of a plan would be helpful.