Hi Well the lunch went well. WAW arrived on time and seemed fairly relaxed and convivial. We talked about various things, her work, my work, D2’s crèche. There’s a parents day at D2’s crèche and WAW indicated a desire to go, and for me to attend also. I’m keen for that as I feel that I don’t know the crèche carers as well as I’d like and it could be a good opportunity. D2 was really happy at the lunch too and WAW will have observed that we get on well. Weirdly, I was conscious that I still find WAW attractive. I quite liked that because after all this challenge and toil, it’s good that part hasn’t gone. I guess I did find the conversation an effort too, though. It’s hard to endure (for want of a better word) the boundaries and the inability to talk about the future, but I did do that and I do think it’s the only way I’ll be able to re-establish trust. She did thank me for what she called “a lovely lunch”. So yeah, I’m happy that I did that and she felt good about it.
Generally, my weekend with D2 was fun. It’s certainly challenging at times looking after a toddler, but I do enjoy it. She really is a joy and I love her so much.
The handover last night was a bit unusual. There are limited areas to park close to WAW’s apartment block. When I arrived, WAW’s landlord(?) was outside cleaning the building with a hose where I normally park. I asked him if it was ok to park and he was irritated and surly as I was interrupting his job. I said I’d only be five minutes and he accepted that. So I handed over D2 and her materials quickly (and let WAW know why). WAW seemed perhaps(?) a little disappointed, I’m not sure, she did say “Well ‘next time’ then”. We also both laughed as D2 said something humorous about me leaving. After thanking the landlord I drove off. On some occasions, I do really struggle with feeling glum during the handover / leaving D2. So in a way, I was not unhappy that this was brief as I wasn’t sure I could maintain being “upbeat”. My house felt really empty and with some of her toys scattered about the place. I decided to get out and had a pizza and red wine as comfort. I didn’t feel great about that this morning, but I enjoyed watching the world cup final.
I’m not going to the gym tonight, but I will return for my first session tomorrow after being out for several weeks sick. The gym is the perfect place to go after a D2 handover and managing frustrations.
In other news, my old boss from London is also coming out to NZ this week. We’re going on a week long holiday together. I am looking forward to the distraction and change of scene. This guy is very intelligent. He does care about me, and has good advice. It will be interesting to hear what he says about my situation. No doubt it will come up at some point.
So overall, positive weekend DBing. Here’s to a good week for us all. Keep at it!
