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rayzzz Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: Thornton
Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.

It's tough stuff when you're dark. Trust me, she's feeling it too. You just have to wait it out. Keep on working on yourself.


Thanks Thornton. Following your posts you got the t-shirt AND you got a date...on the well paved road my friend.

It will be interesting to see how much more your story unfolds as your W gets to spend an hour with the new db improved you.

I got my nightvision goggles on and will keep working on myself then. Appreciate I can come here for support...all you guys are characters out of vin diesel riddick chronicles....helping me battle in this darkness.lol


Me 42 W:35
M: 14yrs T:15yrs
D: 8yrs D:6yrs S:3yrs
BD: "I want a D"09/03/14
Sep: 30/06/14

Don't give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.
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^^^ What Thorn said. While dark, work on detaching. Being apart and dark is a gift in itself in detaching if you take advantage of it.

Good luck!


Me: 42
W: 32
Married 7 years together 8.5
S1: 7 S2:7
Bomb #1: 09-16-13
Recon #1: 11/13
A discovered 04-03-2014
W filed D 05-19-14 but never served me
I filed D 12-02-2014
S 05-31-14
Divorced 5-19-16
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Posts: 7,319
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Embrace the darkness in Gotham, Batman. It's right up your alley, buddy!

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"THIRTY DAYS OF NIGHT!!!"


What does that mean????

I don't know!!!!!

But it sounded cool!!!!!

(Something about surviving in darkness for 30 solid days while vampires prey upon a remote town, lots of blood flowing, guts spewing, fear, and pain... but the STRONG SURVIVE! Maybe it's about "Going Dark"? Darned if I know.)


---GGG


Me 54 Him 63
M 23 T 29
0 Kids
Funny Farm of Rescues
12/12 OW--
5/13 ILYBINILWY: A denied
9/13 Proof OW: ENDED
2/14 Got D papers on my BD
I kicked him out for my sanity
9/14 He wants to "talk"?



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rayzzz Offline OP
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Thornton, Pilot, Wonka, Goatgal.... Lovers of the Night (that does sound good doesn't it! Thx) now onto today's topic:Forgiving WAW & getting rid of resentment
Today I was stewing again in the dark of course. "Why can't you GIVE ME A BREAK and forgive my past wrongs cause I am changing NOW. " and I just get all bent out of shape. Then I realized if I don't forgive her I can't really detach...to WAW :" I forgive you for not giving me a second chance....right now...I can only imagine what I've put you through and you must be at the end of your rope"
Started feeling better and it's the old holding grudges and getting bitter instead of getting better.
Other than that GAL with my kids at stampede rodeo events was awesome ( I totally am a rock n roll pearl jam guy not randy Travis so this is a true GAL)
And then swimming at a park. Love my three days with kids! Then taking them to church tomorrow while I rock the bass (another new GAL I learned two months ago...finally feel comfortable and play in a slow zen groove....good for my loud 180s)
Pray for me and send me good vibes for my job hunting warpath. Getting some decent gigs ..and some new interviews so we'll see. Start my evening food courier position for the downtown restaurants so this will be my first evening job since college. No matter. I have lots of free time between GALs and kids so two or three jobs are welcome. Hunting and providing for the family. feels good


Me 42 W:35
M: 14yrs T:15yrs
D: 8yrs D:6yrs S:3yrs
BD: "I want a D"09/03/14
Sep: 30/06/14

Don't give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 223
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So true Rayzzz! If we don't forgive then we get stuck which only hurts us. Sounds like you've been doing a bit of GAL! You're in my prayers


Me 34
M 2.5 (Both 2nd M)
My kids-D 17,S 16,S 12
BD 2/14
D final 7/2014
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rayzzz, it all comes back to detaching. do not worry about trying to forgive or getting rid of resentment. just DONT think about it right now. Or all you will do is stew in the dark. I know it is hard, but push it to the back of your mind and force yourself to think of something else any time the subject pops up in your mind. Worry about forgiveness when the time comes to R and forgiveness is the topic of the day. Today's topic is not forgiveness, today's topic is DETACHMENT. smile

Your friend,

Lover of the Night


Me: 42
W: 32
Married 7 years together 8.5
S1: 7 S2:7
Bomb #1: 09-16-13
Recon #1: 11/13
A discovered 04-03-2014
W filed D 05-19-14 but never served me
I filed D 12-02-2014
S 05-31-14
Divorced 5-19-16
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 241
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rayzzz Offline OP
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Yeah detachment truly is the root of being sane . I will use a good mix of both cause the forgiveness closes the door for now and the detachment nails it shut. Thanks Csan & pilot


Me 42 W:35
M: 14yrs T:15yrs
D: 8yrs D:6yrs S:3yrs
BD: "I want a D"09/03/14
Sep: 30/06/14

Don't give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 241
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rayzzz Offline OP
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"Why are you being so secretive now? I don't even know these people you are hanging out with! Do you trust them with our kids? You are taking them to stay overnight there?" Said Rayzzz's WAW
So how do you be DB mysterious? I said to her "well I have been hanging out with them the last couple months" and left it at that...I almost added "right neighbour ;P"
I think my kids will be fine with my new friends kids ,he's a dad.
Took everything in me to stay relaxed and calm while she complained about having to rely on her parents to look after the kids ( can you hear the tiniest violin playing that sad sarcastic song?)
So what do you think....she wants to grab a torch and head into the darkness and I keep turning on the incredible Bat-fan to snuff it out!


Me 42 W:35
M: 14yrs T:15yrs
D: 8yrs D:6yrs S:3yrs
BD: "I want a D"09/03/14
Sep: 30/06/14

Don't give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.
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You've got her thinking, Rayzzz. That's good! You're doing a great job!

Just be cool, calm, and collected. Let her wonder how you're becoming such a confident man. This process takes time, keep doing what works!

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