Struggling with Boundaries

[pbetra]

Hmm.. easier if they move out vs. staying? It's been my experience that proximity isn't really relevant in how YOU feel. That's more about wanting a "conclusion" or a decision so you can "move on" but the proximity doesn't make a lot of difference to be honest. Detachment from the outcome of what happens is what makes the difference. The rest is really just a distraction.

Just so you know.

AJ

Hi AJM,

I just came to try to send my reply to Juliegayle (again) - it didn't post earlier today - now I see that you also posted - just about a minute earlier! Wished I had seen before

This is certainly Food for thought for me as I have read juliegayle's posts and feel like her on so many occasions! Thx.

It just feels that way to me. Y

Example - not long ago, I experienced 'the usual':
> was ignored as if invisible.
> The going & coming continued with no respect ... no sense of courtesy as we all know with mlc.
> The feeling of directed detesting ...
> avoidance as if I'm a leper ...

But then - the warmth overflows !! ???
> pleasantries began, the chattiness ...
> a casual light touch or 2 or 3 ...
> followed by (drum roll pls ) the casual mention of a loan "until (some) checks came in"
(no doubt for the next opp. to 'meat market OWmn').
So the pendulum experience makes me feel like 'go somewhere', leave me alone so that I can get on with my goals, my GAL

The friendliness can continue to the next day. It feels like overkill to me - all this in addition to being used for everything else. I'm NOT in the mood for the farce, but 'comply' to keep the 'equilibrum within the home' (as I cannot act in haste & think of my child).

I would prefer feeling like the leper (already established anyway),
then - asked/$$, then give the loan & go on until H figures out what he needs to. Why would I want him here? The song & dance is toxic.

re: your post
>> Detachment from the outcome of what happens is what makes the difference. The rest is really just a distraction.<<

So if I can detach (further!!) from the song & dance (the distraction), I wouldn't feel the way I do! Will work on that after being treated nicely because of some pending agenda(s).

Thanks for pointing it out - juliegayle? More to contemplate!