Hi I'm new, I hope I won't be a burden... prt 3

[Barrybran]

But what if mc doesnt help and why is it that i have to change everything and she doesnt change anything?

Looks like you need to read those books again. Maybell is right in that your wife needs to change too. You CAN'T control that. You can only control yourself. Remember the part about how your and your wife's actions are interrelated? Where your action prompts her action which prompts your action and so on? It spoke of changing your action, as the thing you CAN control, to break the negative cycle and bring about a different response from your wife. Your wife is not interested in changing. You can change that attitude, over time, by changing your actions, by being a better person.

You should also go back to the section about having a beginner's mind. You need to ask yourself what MC could do for you rather than what if it fails. This doesn't apply just to MC but everything in your life. Focus on what you could get out of an action or an experience instead of dismissing it and not trying it. The meditation argument was a classic example. MrBond suggested you try it and instead of finding out where you could do it or what it could do for you, you shut it down. If you try to find the possibilities in life your life will change for the better and people, including your wife, will respond to you more favourably.