Trying to find my way

[Meghan]

Thanks, Pilot.

I'm definitely in this for the long haul and I do expect this to take a long time. Everything I've read has suggested that these last four months are pretty negligible in terms of the overall time required to heal this kind of thing, let along the few weeks of active DB, GAL, and 180s. I have four years of his hurt to overcome, after all.

I'm actually finding the self-discovery process motivating, as difficult as the whole situation is. There are things that I still do more for him than for me, but it seems to be shifting in my favour all the time. My goal is really to become a better version of me - less anxious, more outgoing, more assertive, and better able to take care of herself - and that's going to take time, too, both for me to accomplish and for him to see.

I'm really trying to take the marathon analogy to heart. I wish I could convey it to H. as well - he's expressed frustration that things haven't changed and aren't better yet - but it really has been a relatively short period of time. My hope is that making these small changes consistently, like you suggest, he'll notice them soon and they'll start helping.