Heather: I MUST work with him & show/have detachment... I am not willing, to walk away from my financial life investment. It is too much! and I am worth what I invested into.
I will do the best detaching that can be done under the circumstances. I can look at my addiction & not reach for it. I have quit smoking & can be in a room with other smokers & not want it. I can do this with him too! I can & I will! I MUST. I am detoxing in the best way possible & not walk away from my finances/business. I will do that when the timing is better & my name is on the business. I can & have withdrawn from him & push him away, much like I did with cigarettes. I occasionally STILL get the urge to smoke, but NEVER will!... same can happen with him. Mindset!
Yes, my DD has been upset with me but has been proud of me over the past year & more so in the past month.
Yes, I am going to have to be braver than EVER before & EVER in my life.....to get what I want! A life surrounded with people who love, respect and appreciate me... including myself. I must love me first. <<< I get this. A month ago, I gave up the dream. I am giving myself time to detox as well.
Advina: I am comfortable with what I said about the cat to create my comfort. He does not deserve to know the truth...right now. I get to decide what is right/comfortable to me now. Not considering him. This is more the goal for me at this point than to watch out for white lies. I typically am not a liar. I am not very good at it. My EX-H was a HUGE liar & I have no respect for him whatsoever. In reading of other situations & including DB'ing, this is acceptable.... for now. Who cares what "they" think?? I am working on me & if I have to tell a minor lie until I am in a better position & it protects my self!! Im ok with that.
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
