#33: HOLDING my ground... my self value

[LoisB]

MM, I pi$$ you off and vice versa, because the B.S. doesn't work on me. You can't work with him and have detachment. Can't be done.

An addict can't do a lil coke and stay clean.

You don't want to let go. I know because I've been there. 25 years this month. I've had to cut him out completely to give myself time to detox. Thought I would die without him. I haven't.

The withdrawal from love addiction is similar to heroin withdrawal biochemically. Same shid, different addiction.

Get honest with it. You don't want to let him go. You haven't. For me, I'm two months in on No Contact and I still fight it daily. But, I'm getting better. You can't go through withdrawal until he is withdrawn.

It must drive your DD crazy. I feel for her. Watching your mother kill herself over a man is torture. I've done it my whole life. My mom replaced her alcohol with a man, then another.

I agree that you've made progress in standing up for yourself and listening to others.

I don't agree that you are doing all you can. I think you are avoiding the very actions that will cut him out...the actions that will force you to get clean.

EXBF is no good for me, but I can't let him go because.....????