Quote:
I am worried that I am just distracting myself, vs healing
.

You have to detach in order to heal.

Quote:
I am scared that if I see her for how she is really acting that I won't want her back.


I don't understand that line of thinking. Why worry you might not want back? I mean, if you didn't want her, then it wouldn't hurt. Right?

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!