Struggling with Boundaries

[pbetra]

To stand or not to stand... to take a stand or not to take a stand.

As far as standing it is getting harder. He is getting more enmeshed in life with OW and her daughter and just generally meaner.

Today I decided to take a stand about 2 things. 1. He lives in same house but comes and goes as he pleases. ... if we could work out a system for the dog because it is hard to walk him with s. More hatefully comments and "shut up" from h.

I really feel it would be so much easier if he moved out.

Well put juliegayle,
I can really relate. I feel the same way.

The roller coaster rides as H lives under the same roof. How to cope with it. I feel so used ... the using of my resources until he finds a replacement - a 'younger model' since my warranty has expired.
I am moving in the GAL direction - I can feel it, but H can feel like a weight at times! One doesn't spend 15 years with someone, & then casually will themselves to do what they need to, & "voila!" it's all ok. The inner workings churn & hurt - and more so when the mlcer is with you, ocassionally sucking you in to their confusion, when you do cross paths ... just because they are there & NOT somewhere else!!!

I see what the reaction of your own H was on being confronted, as you tried with other boundaries. I agree w/you>> feel it would be so much easier if he moved out << , Frankly it must be! What a dream !!! But I guess we have to wait it out a little longer as advised so many times. The 'patience factor'. Try a little longer but not at your expense of your peace of mind of course - if you can't for much longer or up to a certain point, you have to preserve your sanity. I wish I could advise you better, but there are others who have been here longer and they would be able to direct you at that time.
Until such time, I am thinking/feeling (!) for you.
Take care juliegayle
p.