You are right, I am in a bit of a funk. This sounds crazy, but as I move on and go through the process of detachment I start to feel mad at her. I start to see her as flawed, vs on the pedestal I had her on. I hate myself a lot less then I did 6 weeks ago.
I am worried that I am just distracting myself, vs healing. I am scared that if I see her for how she is really acting that I won't want her back. Instead of having anxiety about her, I'm having anxiety about me.
After 14 years, I am only me. It is scary to know that I need to be ok on my own. And I think it is really scary to realize that I will survive, and I will thrive. I will be a good dad, a good person, and a good partner (To who I have no clue).
That thought, when for 14 years I defined myself as a Husband and Father scares me, I get depressed when I think of it. I need to get through it, but it doesn't change how hard it is.
I hope this doesn't sound crazy, and I am not sure if this is a normal part of the process.
Me: 35 Her: 33 D : 16 S : 9 Together: 14 years Married: 12 She left 4/14/2014 Separated: 5/25/2014 OM Confirmed 7/2014 She filed 8/7/2014 I Filed 10/21/2014 Divorce final 2/12/2015
