Dealing with WAW Part 2

[pilot]

As always sandi, you are on the mark.

It just seems having a chance for a solid home life with both parents living with them should be more important.

IF, and a big IF, I thought there was a better than average chance at R the M, then yea, I would prob soften my stance on even living in her town for a short period of time. However, as is commonly referred to here, no timeline setting. Some people have been DBing for years, and have even been successful after that period of time. Some quicker. But I do not even have a handle if my M can even be saved. I have seen progress yes. But that progress can mean anything from she is wanting to just be friends after the D to she is having second thoughts and wants to work on the M. I wont bother speculating on it because it would be mind reading.

To me, it sounds as if she is wanting you to tell her something, without her asking.

Neither of you know where the other one stands in this stitch. You want to know if she's finished with OM, and it sounds as if she's wanting to know where she would live if she move to your town. The real issues are not about which school the kids attend in the months ahead, but the status of the M.

It really DOES feel as if she was trying to say something, or more to the point, wanted me to say something. And I am not even suggesting she was wanting to say she wants to work on the marriage or wants to reconcile. It just seems as if she wants clarification on where I stand or even just what I am doing. She probably has a lot of unanswered questions because of my GAL, PMA, and the possibility of me even 'dating' someone else. I do not know where I stand in the situation because of DB and the rules. So for that reason, I will not broach the subject.

And yes, she DOES have concerns of where she would live if she moved here. She does not have the money to do it. Or even if she did get the money to do it, how would she support herself. One of the problems is I believe, is her expectation of lifestyle. People get by on a lot less than she would be making with a lot greater expenses needing to be met. I am not suggesting by any means living here would be easy for her. But I am not going to, at least while the D is pending, offer to do anything (per advice of L) The laws in the state where our D is pending say we have not been married long enough to entitle her to any alimony or maintain her standard of living. That does not mean a judge would not require short term assistance. But if it came to the point where it went before a judge, we would cross that bridge when we got there.

I cannot answer the question for her as to where or how she would live if she relocated here. She is an adult and those are questions for her to answer. If she asks me directly, then yes, I will get involved. Until then, it is not my place to figure it out for her.