Wife officially walked away just over a month ago

[BigMac]

Sorry for being so down guys. Today is the W's birthday. She will be 33 today, and yes I am sad that I don't get to celebrate this with her. I am doing my best to cut the rope. Holidays / Birthdays are hard.

Aside from when I was activated for war, this is the first time in 14 years that I haven't done something special for my W on this day. This is the first time in 14 years that I haven't been able to look into her eyes and see the my soulmate growing older with me. This is the first time in 14 years that I can't share in the joy of maturing together.

So yes, I am sad. I miss my friend. I miss my soulmate. I miss my wife. I miss my partner (even though the past couple years she hasn't been acting as one) I accept that not missing her, not loving her is the only way to have a chance of building something new. But I can't ignore the fact that it breaks my heart.

So yes. My logical mind is telling me that this is normal. That she needs to find herself and finish the maturation process. My logical mind says this is necessary and we will come out stronger on the other side. My logical mind says that she will learn valuable lessons being out on her own (Balancing finances, understanding that most men only want one thing, Valuing family as well as freedom).

My heart however just misses my soulmate, misses the little kind things that she used to do for me. My heart misses my W. And all I can do is accept that those feelings are normal, and let them pass while getting a life.

Top GAL activities yesterday
1. Continued flying lessons - Progressing nicely
2. Learned the basics for swing dancing last night, I can't believe how sore my muscles are after this.
3. I un-followed my W on twitter (we both have 1000's of twitter followers, and this is a huge deal to un-follow her back.


So, activities for the day.
1. Packing for a 2 week trip. Hitting San Diego, Austin, Portland and Seattle.
2. Taking S8 to Great America with some friends
3. Getting to sleep early to catch a 6:30 flight Monday for work.
4. Finishing the book co-dependant no more
5. Meditating to start the day.

I'm trying. I'm working on