Trying to find my way

[Maybell]

Meghan, I'll reply more fully later, but I wanted to let you know that my H went on a trip like yours is leaving for on Tuesday. Things MAY get worse before they get better -- the trip was too hectic and tiring for him to come home ready to be a loving husband. All he wanted was to sleep and recover, which meant, to be alone.

I say this not to hurt you or add to your anxiety, but to encourage you to plan for it. You CAN do things while he's gone that will make a difference. First and most importantly, plan some GAL activities that will make you feel great. Things that dont permit you to worry about where his head is. Things that are a bit of a reach for you personally. And try to do at least one or two things with an acquaintance you don't know well but with whom you share some interests. You won't feel comfortable sharing too much about your sitch and you'll be stretching your wings at the same time. This makes it much easier to detach.

Don't worry about not talking to your h regularly. In fact, it might be easier to detach if you don't. You might even be unavailable, or available only briefly, while he's gone. This whole "deciding" business shouldn't be only on his end. Not only should he *think* he could lose you... You should actually examine what you value about the M, and what about it holds you back. This isn't so you can give up on the M, but to help you detach, and to help you understand where your own points of growth are.

There was one other thing I wanted to say, but it's not coming to me right now. I will come back in a bit. I'm sorry the dream upset you. Remember that dreams are a way of our inner selves communicating and acting out so that it's easier for our awake selves to behave with self-control. Let them do their job, it is important to spend some time with our feelings.

Best to you...