Trying to find my way

[Meghan]

Meghan,
Did you even try any of the stuff that I suggested to you? Im not telling you that its a 100% guarantee to work, but if your H is not feeling like he even wants to touch you right now, Im nearly positive that will have an effect.

I did give it a go - I've done yoga in my shortest shorts, and I've been walking around in panties and a bra, and topless too, which is easy to do since it's really hot here - but it seems like he's been actively avoiding looking at me when I do that. I suppose I could be wrong about that, though - is it possible that he doesn't want me to see him looking at me?

I ran it by my brother last night too. He agreed. It may not be the case that you walk around in a thong or naked and he immediately jumps on you, but it will bring about a desire for sure. I would say that a couple instances of this and you should see some kind of change.

I know you think it is pursuit, but it really isnt. It isnt you asking him if he wants to have sex. Thats not what Im telling you to do. All it really is doing is putting the idea in his mind. When he tests the waters and makes some sort of advance, whether it be slapping your ass or making a comment, you need to be flirty and let him know that its ok and that you are open to it.

If you look at it, its still him initiating, not you. Its a 180 for you because you are gonna be excited to have sex with him.

I can't tell you how happy I would be if he'd do any of those things. I'd be all over that, no problem at all. I see what you're saying about the difference between pursuit and planting an idea, though - planting an idea feels a lot less like it violates his wishes.

Take my advice or leave it. The way I look at it, you have nothing to lose by trying it. You can give him a positive experience before he goes on the trip and make him excited to come back. Im telling you this from a guys perspective who is pretty close to the same age as your H. I know it would work on me or any of the guys that I know. To me this seems like a no brainer. Have some confidence in yourself, you know your H wants to have sex with you or you wouldnt even be in this position. I dont care what others are saying on here about the DBing portion of this, do it and see what happens.

I really have been giving it a try. Short shorts, underwear, and small yoga clothes have been the norm. I want him to look at me. He's said in MC that he still finds me attractive, and I hope that's true. I think you're right that I'm not feeling a lot of confidence right now, though, and that's mixed in with a lot of fear. His admission that he wants sex but not with me right now was pretty shattering, but I am taking your advice to heart. If it works, I'll be over the moon.