Mat, I just went back and read through your thread. I can relate to a lot of what you said, your fears, background and your questions. You are not alone.

One of my questions is also, if I wasn't the greatest at being in touch with my feelings and expressing my love and appreciation before, how can I do it now if it's unwanted and chasing?

M: 57 / EW: 52
T: 21, M: 8
S: 18, S: 15
Bomb: 1 Jun 14
EA Aug 2014 I think
PA Feb 2015 possibly sooner