She says she's conflicted (part 2)

[sandi2]

I thought part if the DB strategy was not to throw her out or move out of the home.

I don't recall it being in the book, but maybe it is. As I remember, it was advice given on the board which has been passed down over time.

I was a WAW in an A, so speaking from that perspective, I would have more respect for my H to either leave or tell me to leave.....rather than hanging around to watch it rubbed in his face. IMO, it is demeaning for a man to take that defeated, pitiful stance of waiting & watching and listening to her discuss the details of her A.......while hoping this will be the day she chooses him. And for two more yrs?

Even if the A ends, would she be attracted to her LBH? She won't if she doesn't respect him as a man. Unlike other crises in life where a woman needs assurance and security of her H's love and all that's included as being his spouse, in an open A, you have to deal with it differently. A WW does not appreciate the long suffering H who tries to show her how forgiving, patient, loving, willing, and/or faithful he is to her. She doesn't care! The only things that really gets her attention are the consequences for her actions, her H not being available to her, her inability to affect his indifference, and him GAL & being happy without her.

I think your MC's advice conflicts with what you get here. Seems it would be less confusing if you discontinued the MC. You could always get a DB coach, if you needed extra counseling.